Smooth criminal.

I attended my first - and last - professional football game during high school. To be perfectly fair, taking me to a football game was a terrible idea in the first place. It wasn’t just that I was a gay boy, still deeply in the closet, truth be told I was more comfortable reading a sci-fi novel, or going for a hike than I was tossing a ball or up in the bleachers.

The day started uncomfortably with tailgating in the parking lot outside the Patriots stadium. Allow me to pause for a moment while all of you not from New England get your Patriots quips out of the way. I’ll fill my time reflecting on my feelings about the Yankees.

Back to the tailgating…it was still several years before I would attend the Creelman’s Christmas party at 17 years old and drink my first three beers upstairs with the kids, guiltily confessing to my parents on the way home. On top of that, I was not of legal age and we were in a public place. Getting the picture?

Things only got worse when, in the middle of the game, I pulled out the book I had brought from the inside pocket of my winter jacket and started reading. I also had to pee, so I got up, again letting the group know I was not interested in a pass of the sports bottle of booze they had smuggled in, and headed to the restrooms, book in hand.

Walking out of the bathroom I was stopped by a cop.

“What’s in your pocket son?” he asked.

“A book,” I naively replied.

“Take off your coat and let me see it,” the office said. “I’ve seen you and your friends passing drinks back and forth.”

He went through the pockets of my coat, discovering nothing more than the book. I’m guessing this is the point where he realized how out of place I was and sent me on my way, probably with a pitying look.

I have long since, gotten more comfortable with sports. In fact, I met my husband at a baseball game and still love hitting National’s stadium a few times a year to watch a game, drink a few beers, and scarf down a hot dog. And, while you won’t find me yelling, it no longer makes me jump when my husband starts shouting loudly at the TV during an Ohio State football game.

Whether you are a sports fan or not, this is not a post of encouragement to hang tough until you learn to be comfortable. This post is a big bear hug. On game day, take care of you. If you don’t want to go to the game, stay home. But, if you do want to join your friends on the couch even though you’re going to have to watch football, make sure you’ve got some delicious snacks. Hugs.

Tater Tots Bravas

Serves 4-6

This game day take on a classic Spanish tapas dish pairs crispy, homemade tater-tots with smoky, sweet Bravas tomato sauce and sharp, rich, garlic-y aioli. Bonus, for all of that richness, it’s totally vegan. Want to save some time? The tots are good but the sauces are the real magic here so bake some cubed yellow potatoes or heat up some frozen tots in your air fryer and sauce away!

Bravas sauce:

• 2 tbs olive oil

• 1 yellow onion, diced

• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and thinly sliced

• 3 cloves garlic, minced

• 1 tbs Pimentón (also called Spanish paprika or smoked paprika)

• 1 14oz can chopped tomatoes

• 1 tsp Sherry or red wine vinegar

Garlic aioli (optional):

• 3 cloves garlic

• 1 tsp lemon juice

• 1/2 cup olive oil - the good stuff!

Tater tots:

• 2 lbs Russet potatoes

• 1 tbs AP flour

• 1 1/2 cups olive oil

Directions:

• Make Bravas sauce: Warm 2 tbs olive oil in a 4 quart soup pot. Add onion and sauté until it begins to soften, about 3 minutes. Add bell pepper and cook until it begins to soften, about 5 min longer. Add garlic and Pimentón and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add tomatoes and bring to a simmer, then reduce heat to medium low. Cook until slightly thickened, like loose applesauce. Purée in a blender or food processor and season to taste with vinegar, salt and pepper.

• Make aioli(optional): Place 3 garlic cloves in a mortar and sprinkle with 1/2 tsp salt. Grind into a smooth paste. Add lemon juice and stir through with pestle. Begin adding oil slowly and grinding it in with the pestle. It will become a thick, mayonnaise-y sauce. If you need to, thin at the end with a tsp or two of water.

• Parboil potatoes: Peel potatoes. Place in a 4 qt soup pot and cover with water. Add a generous pinch of salt and partially cover. Set over high heat. When water comes to a boil continue cooking until the tip of a knife can be inserted to the center with just a little resistance, about 5-6 min longer. Drain and cool potatoes until comfortable to touch.

• Make tater tots: Grate potatoes on the large holes of a box grater. Place potatoes in a large bowl. Sprinkle with flour, a couple pinches of salt and pepper to taste. Using heaping tbs of mixture, shape potatoes into small logs.

• Place Remaining oil in a 5-6 quart Dutch oven or stock pot. Bring to 350° F or until a chopstick or the end of a wooden spoon sends up bubbles. While oil heats up, set Bravas sauce over med-low heat to warm through.

• Cook 6-8 tater tots at a time, about 2-3 minutes per side, until golden brown. Drain on paper towels or a cooling rack set over a rimmed baking sheet. Let oil return to temperature between batches.

• Serve tater tots with Bravas sauce and aioli.

  TIP: rub your hands with a little flour or dip them in cold water before shaping tater tots. The starch in the potatoes make them sticky.